Realization and Domination

Tonight, I tried that new Buffalo Wild Wings place.

I realize its not NEW NEW, but it's new to me so therefore, its that new place.

ANYWAY. I decided to be brave and order the next to hottest wing sauce they had there...WILD SAUCE (cue "wild thing" music...you know its playing in your head right now...don't lie to yourself). So needless to say, I had my challenge before me.

Here comes the realization part. And if you knew this and think less of me because of what I'm about to say, keep it to yourself, cause I'm really proud of this realization. And those of you who eat really hot wings truly understand the meaning of this. When you're eating wings so hot that you feel like hot sauce is coming out of your pores, your nose is running, and your eyes are on the verge of crying, what do you grab to give your inferno a break? Not your water, CELERY! I now understand why they give you celery with hot wings. SOMETHING about it cools your mouth down after a lava-esque hot wing. Don't judge me if you knew that already. Because I didn't. Let me have my moment. Thanks.

So now comes the domination part. I never knew that eating 8 wings could be so hard. I started off strong...chipping away at my challenge one wing at a time...making sure I had a methodological bite of celery in-between each wing so as to not melt my mouth off my face. Everything was fine til it came down to the last 2 wings. I had to literally give myself a pep-talk...and I had to talk to the wing too...thank God I was with a friend because if not, I could have been escorted out for talking to my food...and myself...at the same time. ANYWAY, I digress. I decided speed was the best strategy for these last two. So in a few swift bites, the last 2 wings were done. HOT WING DOMINATION.

Speed may have been the best choice for the short run...but might not have been the best strategy for the long term...Pepto Bismol anyone?